Conversations from the Mat

Do I Look Fat In This?

Yogawoman - Saturday, December 10, 2011

By Beth Berila, Ph. D

“My breasts aren’t big enough. My butt is too big. I don’t like my stomach. Do I look fat in this outfit?”

How many women have criticized ourselves like this at some point in our lives? Probably many of us, particularly if we live in Western societies. Here, cultural messages about women’s bodies and thinness saturate our media and “fat” is seen as a reflection of moral worth. Rather than seeing beauty in a range of body sizes and types—as yoga would have us do—women learn that only a narrow image counts.

 

Of course, it’s no surprise that women’s bodies are objectified in our popular culture. The most damaging part happens when we learn to objectify ourselves. Feminists such as Susan Bordo and Sandra Bartky have written about how women learn to police and regulate ourselves. We internalize those media messages so deeply that we place ourselves under surveillance and often find ourselves lacking. We learn, from a very young age, that we are valued more for our looks than anything else—a message that damages women’s self-esteem from a young age.


How often to we check our appearance when we walk by a mirror? Do we see ourselves as a holistic being, with talents and dreams? Or do we focus on body parts and scrutinize with a sharply critical eye?

Fragmenting and judging ourselves works to keep women down. It is sexism at work. Women become disembodied—judging our bodies as if from the inside out. We learn to see our bodies as something to hone, tone, berate, but not as a part of ourselves that needs to be listened to, befriended, and honored.

That’s where yoga comes in. In yoga, we can learn to reclaim our bodies. We cultivate the connection between our movement and our breath. We bring our attention to our present experience and learn to accept to without judgment.

 We come home to our bodies.

On our mats, we learn how to integrate our heart, mind, spirit, and body. We learn to work with our physical limitations—which we can eventually see not as limitations but as the unique gifts of who are.

 In yoga, we learn to value our bodies for what they do for us and what they have to teach us. When those old voices of self-critique arise, we can more easily notice them, put them into perspective, and refuse to feed them. Instead, we can learn to surround ourselves with love, compassion, and acceptance. We greet ourselves, in the words of the great poet Rumi, like a valued guest.

We become re-embodied.

Reposted: http://bethberila.blogspot.com/

 

Comments
Anonymous
10-Dec-2011 01:14 AM
Comments:A great and true article! But why did you include a picture showing such slim, nice, handsome women on their mat, looking so self-confident and contented? It's even NOT this woman, who you describe. Even it would be so great, if every woman would be like
this and would feel like this...
Anonymous
10-Dec-2011 01:34 AM
Comments:I completely agree with the comment above. This would have been much better with a photo of a mixed group of women that were of various sizes, ages and looks. But, like the rest of society, you fell right into the sterotype trap of "what women who do yoga
look like". Just goes to show you how pervasive this is.
Beth Berilla
10-Dec-2011 01:59 AM
Comments:Such good comments. Anonymous. I appreciate them both. You are so right--and isn't it disturbing--that even when we know it is happening, we can still fall into it. For me, it seems that it is a constant path of catching those internalized messages, and
while I catch many, I suppose some of them still leak through, Thank you for your comments.
Anonymous
10-Dec-2011 03:00 AM
Comments:I also had the exact thoughts as the comments above: As I was reading the article, my eyes kept being pulled to the lovely young women with perfect bodies and perfect hair, unlike me. However, this article was well written and important for mothers of
girls to read.
10-Dec-2011 05:00 AM
Comments:I couldn't agree more . Nonetheless I still would like to shed 5 lbs. Being the right weight is a reflection of being in touch with your body, mindfully eating the right amount of the right foods. As a yoga teacher I feel I need to be an example of to
my students by livng what I preach.
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